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Welcome to the first entry of 30 Days of Eco-Sex for the 40th Anniversary of Earth Day.

The Four Questions of Eco-Sex (Not Necessarily Kosher for Passover, but definitely SFW)

Why do we eat only organic, fair-trade, non-GMO and locally sourced foods?

Because treating your body like a temple is one of the smartest, sexiest ways to be green. The pesticides used on conventional produce are made from petrochemicals that pollute the environment, deplete the earth’s resources, and wreck the ecosystem of your precious body. And the more garbage you eat, the less energy you’ll have for getting it on. Remember that going vegan is even better for your eco-street cred: beef farming accounts for 18 % of the carbon output on planet earth.

Why do we slather only plant-based, paraben/petrochemical/preservative-free products on our bodies?

Because Eco-Sex starts with your relationship to your own body. When you wake up in the morning and begin the very intimate ritual of self-grooming, sex may not be foremost on your mind, but it’s definitely embedded in your subconscious. Make sure everything you rub into your skin is as edible as possible, and don’t be fooled by the sins of greenwashing.

Why do we use sustainable sex toys and healthy, non-hormonal birth control methods?

With all due props to Margaret Sanger for liberating women in the early 1960s, The Pill turns out to be a less than ideal way to prevent pregnancy. Hormonal birth control is bad not just for your own body, but for the eco-system at large. Go for fair-trade condoms like Sir Richards or French Letter Condoms. Even better, if you’re in a monogamous relationship, get an IUD. If you’re a die-hard ecosexual, consider the snip.

Playing with toys is fun, but it’s even better when it’s safe and healthy. Make sure yours are made from materials like silicone instead of plastic. Jimmyjane makes gorgeous, sustainable, long-lasting toys with rechargeable batteries.

Why do we walk, bike, or take public transportation to meet our lover instead of driving?

Our addiction to car culture has long been out of control. Ecosexuals get where they’re going by alternate means, because they know that oil is not just dirty, but about to peak. Barack Obama may have annual seders in the White House, but he certainly isn’t paying any heed to the Four Questions of Ecosex with his new climate plan. The ecosexy way to get where you’re going for a little sumthin’ sumthin’ doesn’t require drilling offshore.